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sexyinscrubs | The long haul
Apr. 29th, 2010 11:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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It had been a week since Aiden had finally been discharged from hospital, but it was joked that it was a pointless gesture because he was still there just about the whole time with Pat while they waited for Pat's neurologist and physiotherapist to give him the clear for home nursing. In the meantime, Aiden had paid a lot of money to get their home fitted with everything Pat would need considering Pat would be in this condition for an indefinitey length of time. Without a doubt, it was trying on everyone and everything seemed to lately fall into two categories - Things Pat Knew, and Things Pat Didn't Know. For everyone on the outside looking in, this was hard to keep up with, the lines blurring more they anticipated and often they were met with Pat just looking at them blankly when they touched on something he didn't remember. Or there were the times Pat's brain pretty much just outright failed him and he could hardly remember his own name. This was happening less and less, but it was all just a matter of rolling with it at any one moment. Pat's brain was still healing from the surgery, and it was going to take time. Coupled with the evidence now indicating that the MS had been exacerbated by the stress of the accident, no one was able to say either way what lay around the corner or whether Pat would even manage to recover. There was a chance he might not, and this would be how it would be, but Aiden tried not to let himself stop and think on that too long. If he did, he would go crazy.
All around them, people were trying to get back to normal after the accident. Apparently, as soon as normalcy was restored, Pat might start latching onto slivers of memories that could trigger other things in his pysche. At least, according to Lachlan, who was getting stranglely to the point and succinct whenever it came to talk about Pat's condition. For the first time in a long time, Yodalan didn't seem to have extensive pearls of wisdom to offer anyone. Right now, though, Aiden had been sitting watching Pat doze in and out of a light sleep while he sipped a large latte, finding himself once again lost in his mess of random thoughts like he was a lot of late. He was glad to be out of the hospital bed, but would only be able to relax again when Pat was back home. He hated these waiting games. He smiled when Pat once again opened his eyes sleepily and sought Aiden out in his line of sight. Aiden reached out, taking Pat's hand and putting it to his mouth to kiss his fingers reassuringly. "I love you," he murmured in greeting, rubbing this thumb against Pat's palm. "How are you feeling?" He braced himself just a little at the question, remembering a particularly vocal outburst on Pat's part with lots of colourful language only a few days before at that exact same question, catching him at a bad point. Thankfully those angry outbursts had also subsided too, and even though Aiden knew it was just the damaged areas of Pat's brain causing the explosions, it still didn't make it easier to be on the receiving end and even harder when Pat didn't even remember he had done it a very short while later.
"My head hurts," Patrick replied quietly, pressing his lips together in a hint of a wry smile at his husband. "I just... I can't believe that was RJ. You don't know how fucked up that is. In my head, it feels like just the other day that he was wasn't even four months old. But he's not. He's sixteen months and he's... he's walking and starting to talk. If he didn't look so much like Lachie, I'd be wondering if you were all trying to pull the piss out of me. I just... I... what else have I missed?" he asked helplessly.
Aiden set his coffee down and shifted his chair closer so he could wrap his arm around Pat in the closest thing to a hug he could manage without hurt him. He used his other hand to brush Pat's hair off his face. "You didn't miss anything, sweetheart," he reminded him. "You were right there for it all, and you'll get those memories back. It's really strange, I know, but he's a gorgeous little lad, isn't he? Do you really think he would have been beaming at you and chattering away to you in... Scot-Irish baby babble if he didn't know who is Uncle Pat was? He thinks the sun shines out of your butt. I happen to concur," he added with a smirk.
Patrick raised his eyebrows slightly in amusement. "Aye, he is. He's absolutely amazing. He's everything I expected Tara and Lachie to create together. I just can't shake that feeling like I've missed out on a huge part of my godson's life... even if I technically haven't. It's depressing." He linked his fingers in with Aiden's and watched him closely. "Just like knowing I can't have sex with my husband. That's not just depressing, it's fucking frustrating. You can't tell me you aren't finding this whole thing a pain in the arse... abstaining."
"I'm not finding it a pain in the arse, love. I've been recuperating myself. I miss being intimate with you, but that's not just sex to me anymore. And no, I'm not just placating you," Aiden added, giving Pat a knowing smile. He ran his thumb along Pat's wedding ring, twisting it around his finger and feeling it was looser than usual. Pat had lost weight since the accident, weight he just didn't have to spare in the first place. Aiden just felt like he had bigger fish to fry than moaning about lack of sex. "When you get home, we can do a lot of lying around naked. We'll just hang a sock on the doorknob so the nurse doesn't get a free show," he joked.
"Maybe you should... find something casual? I'd be okay with it, you know. You shouldn't have to go without sex because of me," Pat suggested, shifting a little in the bed as a strange restlessness started to creep over him. "I might not be ever able to have sex again, and you shouldn't have to pay for that. A friend with benefits? Just someone who can give you that side of things that I can't..."
By now Aiden's mouth was hanging open as he just gaped at Pat. He didn't know if he should be shocked, offended, hurt, upset, flattered? And he completely missed the change of tone in Pat's voice. "I- are you mental?!" he finally choked out.
"Apparently," Pat replied evenly. He watched Aiden with an unreadable expression on his face. "What difference does it make? It's not like I'm going to remember you doing it anyway. Best of both worlds. It's a win-win situation."
Aiden pushed his fingers across his forehead as he gave a humourless laugh of disbelief. This was the side of things he hated, where he couldn't read if Pat was having an odd episode or not. Lachlan had hinted along the lines if Pat was acting out-of-character, it probably was a psychological reaction. "You telling me to cheat on you is a win-win situation how? The thought of it makes me want vomit! What are you thinking? Do you seriously think I would do that? Because of sex? I don't care about sex with anyone but you!"
Pat snorted softly and looked out the window. "You're going to have a long and boring life then, aren't you? I don't believe for a fucking minute someone like you can put up with a disabled husband who can't even fuck him."
Aiden shook his head helplessly, taking his hand from Pat's so he could hold it up. "I can't talk to you about this right now. If you wake up later feeling the same way, then we'll discuss it, but I can't do this. If I have to sit here and listen to you go on about me fucking other men for jollies because my husband is seriously ill, I'll throw up and probably say something I'll regret. Or doesn't it fucking matter, because you won't remember anyway? I can't fucking believe this! I can handle a lot of fucking shit but this is just bullshit! What the hell are you thinking?!" His voice had risen without him realising and then after a silent few moments, a chill crept down his spine when he realised Pat was looking at him like that again. That blank, intimidated look like a little lost animal. Somewhere during his rant, Pat's mind had lapsed again and now he probably had no idea why Aiden was yelling and swearing at him. Of all the times Lachlan told him to keep his cool and not take what Pat was saying personally, he went and fell right into the trap. He bit down on his lip and then put his hand to his mouth. "Pat, sweetheart... I'm sorry..."
"I'm sorry," Patrick was throwing back at him in a small voice and then he looked up at the ceiling in frustration, a hand going to his forehead as some tears formed in his eyes again.
"What are you sorry for, love?" Aiden murmured, his heart now feeling like it was jammed somewhere up in his throat. He took Pat's hand again, cupping both his own hands around it.
The tears dripped slowly down Pat's cheeks and he gave his head a slight shake. "I don't know, but you're yelling..." He swallowed heavily and gave another frustrated sigh. "I fucking hate this. It feels like I'm walking around with one eyeball and missing half of everything happening around me. You know what it's like? Those fucking hypnotists. Where you're right in the middle of something and then they tell you to sleep? Only I'm on the receiving end and over and over feel like I'm just waking up, looking at someone talking to me and hearing the words coming out of their mouth, but I have no goddamn clue what they're talking about, or who they even are! Who is that woman? Emma? Who is she? I don't know her. And there's someone else. Izzy. Cameron let slip something about her but he didn't elaborate. Who is Izzy? And why is Riley looking like hell when should be exicted about his wedding?"
"Pat... baby... stop for a minute. Look at me," Aiden coaxed gently, rubbing Pat's hand in soothing strokes. He waited until Pat's gaze before he spoke again. "We're a year ahead, remember? Riley and Evie are married, so are Tab and Luke. Riley and Evie had success with the IVF and they just had twins, a baby boy and girl called Alex and Catherine. We were just waiting until you were feeling a little better until they brought them along for you to meet. It's... it's difficult for us to know how much to saddle you with, sweetheart. I don't want to make your head hurt anymore than it already is. I really, really don't because seeing you in so much pain is killing me. I want to take it all away, but I know I can't. I know we're going through some rough patches here, but I just think it's going to get okay if we stick it out. Go home, share a bed again... just be together." He conveniently avoided the subject of Emma. He didn't even know where the hell to start with that. He could try telling Pat she was Evie's sister, but he wouldn't be satisfied with that. He would want to know why she visiting on her own.
Pat closed his eyes and pressed the tips of his fingers to his forehead, a couple more tears escaping. "Say something to stop me crying," he requested through a small, strained laugh when it once again felt like someone had his head in a vice.
Aiden was out of his seat, wringing the cloth in the small bowl of water beside Pat's bed out again. He carefully pried Pat's fingers away from his head and draped the cool cloth over his eyes, applying some soft pressure. Something cold against his eyes had been bringing Pat some small doses of relief over the last few days, so it was better than nothing. At least the head pain had stopped being accompanied by nausea and Pat was actually eating small amounts now. While it didn't seem like he was making much progress, Aiden knew he had come leaps and bounds. "Hypothetically, what would you do if I cheated on you?" The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them and he froze, bracing himself for the answer.
"Grab the defibrillator, shove it up your arse and hit the button," was Pat's unfaltering reply as he wrapped his hand Aiden's arm, seeking some more contact. "Is there something you need to tell me?"
Aiden felt all of the air rush out of him in relief. "No," he said through the exhalation. "I just..."
"What did I say to you?" Pat cut in, taking Aiden's hand and the cloth away from his face so he could look up at him. He gave his head a slight shake and curled his arms up against his chest as they started to ache again too. "Maybe they had a point in keeping me sedated after the surgery. Or just intubate me, and I'll have no choice but to shut the hell up."
"I don't want you to shut the hell up. Everytime you're unconscious, you look like you're never going to wake up, and I just... I just..." Aiden floundered, feeling the emotions surge up inside him again and he choked on the words, pressing his lips together and shaking his head as he looked down at the damp cloth draped between his fingers.
Pat's features twisted with an uncontrollable guilt and helpessness. "You just..." he pressed hoarsely. "Aiden, talk to me. Please. I know my head is fucked and it's stuck in a whole other realm that no one else's is... Hell, probably... but please try and bear with me. You're keeping me sane, y-you're giving me a reason not to just tell them to pull the plug on everything."
Aiden's eyes searched over Pat's face at those last words and he felt woozy when it seemed like too much to process. He sat back down on the chair he had spent so much time in of late and took Pat's hand again, resting is forehead against their linked fingers. "Eggshells... I don't have the energy for them right now. I-I say things and you get upset, but you don't remember doing it. It's that damage in there we're waiting to heal, but sometimes you... you aren't yourself. You're someone else who is angry a-and... cold. You're still you but it's just like... you've lost the life in you. But I know you can't help it, and that it's the injury talking. It'll slowly get better with the right medication and therapy, but... having it there in my face, I just keep fucking it up, and I... I'm so tired."
"Then hold on tighter," Pat said in a tiny voice, choked up as he tried to fight back more tears. "Please, Aiden... don't let me turn into that person and not come back. Don't let me not remember." But then another small laugh escaped and he put his hand over his face. "Fuck, you're hot. This isn't a mind fuck episode, just making a statement."
Aiden watched Pat laugh, matching it with his own, even if it was disbelieving and slightly breathless, coming out more like a cough than anything else. "You've not been taking too many hits of that morphine pump, have you, sweetheart? Lachlan been slipping you a hit of something organic when I've not been looking?"
Pat laughed again and started to cough at the effort of it. "Fuck, I wish," she said weakly in amusement. His head slumped tiredly against the pillow and he threaded his fingers with Aiden's again, holding his gaze. "Marry me."
Aiden balked yet again and blinked at Pat, trying to catch his eyes for that hint of a change when he had an episode. It wasn't there, but was his memory getting even worse? Was that possible? "What? Pat, we..." He started to reach for his wallet, knowing he had some of their wedding photos in there.
"Again," Pat elaborated softly. "Marry me again. In case I don't ever remember our first year together. We can do-over. I just want to smile again like we did on our wedding day. That one day when I didn't feel sick, or I didn't feel tired. Just happy. I need happy..." He was feeling woozy again, like sleep was trying to claim him before he could stop it, but he smirked. "Say yes. We're both blokes. You don't get the monopoly on the wedding proposals, darling."
Aiden was getting sleepy just looking at Pat's eyes droop, and he knew his husband would be out within minutes. Despite the rollercoaster of emotions he had been on these past few weeks and all the eggshells he was trying to trapse across, it was these moments that made him stop and remember why he kept finding the energy to keeping going. He kissed his own fingers and then pressed them against Pat's lips with a smirk of his own. "Hell-fucking-yes."
Word Count | 2,954
It had been a week since Aiden had finally been discharged from hospital, but it was joked that it was a pointless gesture because he was still there just about the whole time with Pat while they waited for Pat's neurologist and physiotherapist to give him the clear for home nursing. In the meantime, Aiden had paid a lot of money to get their home fitted with everything Pat would need considering Pat would be in this condition for an indefinitey length of time. Without a doubt, it was trying on everyone and everything seemed to lately fall into two categories - Things Pat Knew, and Things Pat Didn't Know. For everyone on the outside looking in, this was hard to keep up with, the lines blurring more they anticipated and often they were met with Pat just looking at them blankly when they touched on something he didn't remember. Or there were the times Pat's brain pretty much just outright failed him and he could hardly remember his own name. This was happening less and less, but it was all just a matter of rolling with it at any one moment. Pat's brain was still healing from the surgery, and it was going to take time. Coupled with the evidence now indicating that the MS had been exacerbated by the stress of the accident, no one was able to say either way what lay around the corner or whether Pat would even manage to recover. There was a chance he might not, and this would be how it would be, but Aiden tried not to let himself stop and think on that too long. If he did, he would go crazy.
All around them, people were trying to get back to normal after the accident. Apparently, as soon as normalcy was restored, Pat might start latching onto slivers of memories that could trigger other things in his pysche. At least, according to Lachlan, who was getting stranglely to the point and succinct whenever it came to talk about Pat's condition. For the first time in a long time, Yodalan didn't seem to have extensive pearls of wisdom to offer anyone. Right now, though, Aiden had been sitting watching Pat doze in and out of a light sleep while he sipped a large latte, finding himself once again lost in his mess of random thoughts like he was a lot of late. He was glad to be out of the hospital bed, but would only be able to relax again when Pat was back home. He hated these waiting games. He smiled when Pat once again opened his eyes sleepily and sought Aiden out in his line of sight. Aiden reached out, taking Pat's hand and putting it to his mouth to kiss his fingers reassuringly. "I love you," he murmured in greeting, rubbing this thumb against Pat's palm. "How are you feeling?" He braced himself just a little at the question, remembering a particularly vocal outburst on Pat's part with lots of colourful language only a few days before at that exact same question, catching him at a bad point. Thankfully those angry outbursts had also subsided too, and even though Aiden knew it was just the damaged areas of Pat's brain causing the explosions, it still didn't make it easier to be on the receiving end and even harder when Pat didn't even remember he had done it a very short while later.
"My head hurts," Patrick replied quietly, pressing his lips together in a hint of a wry smile at his husband. "I just... I can't believe that was RJ. You don't know how fucked up that is. In my head, it feels like just the other day that he was wasn't even four months old. But he's not. He's sixteen months and he's... he's walking and starting to talk. If he didn't look so much like Lachie, I'd be wondering if you were all trying to pull the piss out of me. I just... I... what else have I missed?" he asked helplessly.
Aiden set his coffee down and shifted his chair closer so he could wrap his arm around Pat in the closest thing to a hug he could manage without hurt him. He used his other hand to brush Pat's hair off his face. "You didn't miss anything, sweetheart," he reminded him. "You were right there for it all, and you'll get those memories back. It's really strange, I know, but he's a gorgeous little lad, isn't he? Do you really think he would have been beaming at you and chattering away to you in... Scot-Irish baby babble if he didn't know who is Uncle Pat was? He thinks the sun shines out of your butt. I happen to concur," he added with a smirk.
Patrick raised his eyebrows slightly in amusement. "Aye, he is. He's absolutely amazing. He's everything I expected Tara and Lachie to create together. I just can't shake that feeling like I've missed out on a huge part of my godson's life... even if I technically haven't. It's depressing." He linked his fingers in with Aiden's and watched him closely. "Just like knowing I can't have sex with my husband. That's not just depressing, it's fucking frustrating. You can't tell me you aren't finding this whole thing a pain in the arse... abstaining."
"I'm not finding it a pain in the arse, love. I've been recuperating myself. I miss being intimate with you, but that's not just sex to me anymore. And no, I'm not just placating you," Aiden added, giving Pat a knowing smile. He ran his thumb along Pat's wedding ring, twisting it around his finger and feeling it was looser than usual. Pat had lost weight since the accident, weight he just didn't have to spare in the first place. Aiden just felt like he had bigger fish to fry than moaning about lack of sex. "When you get home, we can do a lot of lying around naked. We'll just hang a sock on the doorknob so the nurse doesn't get a free show," he joked.
"Maybe you should... find something casual? I'd be okay with it, you know. You shouldn't have to go without sex because of me," Pat suggested, shifting a little in the bed as a strange restlessness started to creep over him. "I might not be ever able to have sex again, and you shouldn't have to pay for that. A friend with benefits? Just someone who can give you that side of things that I can't..."
By now Aiden's mouth was hanging open as he just gaped at Pat. He didn't know if he should be shocked, offended, hurt, upset, flattered? And he completely missed the change of tone in Pat's voice. "I- are you mental?!" he finally choked out.
"Apparently," Pat replied evenly. He watched Aiden with an unreadable expression on his face. "What difference does it make? It's not like I'm going to remember you doing it anyway. Best of both worlds. It's a win-win situation."
Aiden pushed his fingers across his forehead as he gave a humourless laugh of disbelief. This was the side of things he hated, where he couldn't read if Pat was having an odd episode or not. Lachlan had hinted along the lines if Pat was acting out-of-character, it probably was a psychological reaction. "You telling me to cheat on you is a win-win situation how? The thought of it makes me want vomit! What are you thinking? Do you seriously think I would do that? Because of sex? I don't care about sex with anyone but you!"
Pat snorted softly and looked out the window. "You're going to have a long and boring life then, aren't you? I don't believe for a fucking minute someone like you can put up with a disabled husband who can't even fuck him."
Aiden shook his head helplessly, taking his hand from Pat's so he could hold it up. "I can't talk to you about this right now. If you wake up later feeling the same way, then we'll discuss it, but I can't do this. If I have to sit here and listen to you go on about me fucking other men for jollies because my husband is seriously ill, I'll throw up and probably say something I'll regret. Or doesn't it fucking matter, because you won't remember anyway? I can't fucking believe this! I can handle a lot of fucking shit but this is just bullshit! What the hell are you thinking?!" His voice had risen without him realising and then after a silent few moments, a chill crept down his spine when he realised Pat was looking at him like that again. That blank, intimidated look like a little lost animal. Somewhere during his rant, Pat's mind had lapsed again and now he probably had no idea why Aiden was yelling and swearing at him. Of all the times Lachlan told him to keep his cool and not take what Pat was saying personally, he went and fell right into the trap. He bit down on his lip and then put his hand to his mouth. "Pat, sweetheart... I'm sorry..."
"I'm sorry," Patrick was throwing back at him in a small voice and then he looked up at the ceiling in frustration, a hand going to his forehead as some tears formed in his eyes again.
"What are you sorry for, love?" Aiden murmured, his heart now feeling like it was jammed somewhere up in his throat. He took Pat's hand again, cupping both his own hands around it.
The tears dripped slowly down Pat's cheeks and he gave his head a slight shake. "I don't know, but you're yelling..." He swallowed heavily and gave another frustrated sigh. "I fucking hate this. It feels like I'm walking around with one eyeball and missing half of everything happening around me. You know what it's like? Those fucking hypnotists. Where you're right in the middle of something and then they tell you to sleep? Only I'm on the receiving end and over and over feel like I'm just waking up, looking at someone talking to me and hearing the words coming out of their mouth, but I have no goddamn clue what they're talking about, or who they even are! Who is that woman? Emma? Who is she? I don't know her. And there's someone else. Izzy. Cameron let slip something about her but he didn't elaborate. Who is Izzy? And why is Riley looking like hell when should be exicted about his wedding?"
"Pat... baby... stop for a minute. Look at me," Aiden coaxed gently, rubbing Pat's hand in soothing strokes. He waited until Pat's gaze before he spoke again. "We're a year ahead, remember? Riley and Evie are married, so are Tab and Luke. Riley and Evie had success with the IVF and they just had twins, a baby boy and girl called Alex and Catherine. We were just waiting until you were feeling a little better until they brought them along for you to meet. It's... it's difficult for us to know how much to saddle you with, sweetheart. I don't want to make your head hurt anymore than it already is. I really, really don't because seeing you in so much pain is killing me. I want to take it all away, but I know I can't. I know we're going through some rough patches here, but I just think it's going to get okay if we stick it out. Go home, share a bed again... just be together." He conveniently avoided the subject of Emma. He didn't even know where the hell to start with that. He could try telling Pat she was Evie's sister, but he wouldn't be satisfied with that. He would want to know why she visiting on her own.
Pat closed his eyes and pressed the tips of his fingers to his forehead, a couple more tears escaping. "Say something to stop me crying," he requested through a small, strained laugh when it once again felt like someone had his head in a vice.
Aiden was out of his seat, wringing the cloth in the small bowl of water beside Pat's bed out again. He carefully pried Pat's fingers away from his head and draped the cool cloth over his eyes, applying some soft pressure. Something cold against his eyes had been bringing Pat some small doses of relief over the last few days, so it was better than nothing. At least the head pain had stopped being accompanied by nausea and Pat was actually eating small amounts now. While it didn't seem like he was making much progress, Aiden knew he had come leaps and bounds. "Hypothetically, what would you do if I cheated on you?" The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them and he froze, bracing himself for the answer.
"Grab the defibrillator, shove it up your arse and hit the button," was Pat's unfaltering reply as he wrapped his hand Aiden's arm, seeking some more contact. "Is there something you need to tell me?"
Aiden felt all of the air rush out of him in relief. "No," he said through the exhalation. "I just..."
"What did I say to you?" Pat cut in, taking Aiden's hand and the cloth away from his face so he could look up at him. He gave his head a slight shake and curled his arms up against his chest as they started to ache again too. "Maybe they had a point in keeping me sedated after the surgery. Or just intubate me, and I'll have no choice but to shut the hell up."
"I don't want you to shut the hell up. Everytime you're unconscious, you look like you're never going to wake up, and I just... I just..." Aiden floundered, feeling the emotions surge up inside him again and he choked on the words, pressing his lips together and shaking his head as he looked down at the damp cloth draped between his fingers.
Pat's features twisted with an uncontrollable guilt and helpessness. "You just..." he pressed hoarsely. "Aiden, talk to me. Please. I know my head is fucked and it's stuck in a whole other realm that no one else's is... Hell, probably... but please try and bear with me. You're keeping me sane, y-you're giving me a reason not to just tell them to pull the plug on everything."
Aiden's eyes searched over Pat's face at those last words and he felt woozy when it seemed like too much to process. He sat back down on the chair he had spent so much time in of late and took Pat's hand again, resting is forehead against their linked fingers. "Eggshells... I don't have the energy for them right now. I-I say things and you get upset, but you don't remember doing it. It's that damage in there we're waiting to heal, but sometimes you... you aren't yourself. You're someone else who is angry a-and... cold. You're still you but it's just like... you've lost the life in you. But I know you can't help it, and that it's the injury talking. It'll slowly get better with the right medication and therapy, but... having it there in my face, I just keep fucking it up, and I... I'm so tired."
"Then hold on tighter," Pat said in a tiny voice, choked up as he tried to fight back more tears. "Please, Aiden... don't let me turn into that person and not come back. Don't let me not remember." But then another small laugh escaped and he put his hand over his face. "Fuck, you're hot. This isn't a mind fuck episode, just making a statement."
Aiden watched Pat laugh, matching it with his own, even if it was disbelieving and slightly breathless, coming out more like a cough than anything else. "You've not been taking too many hits of that morphine pump, have you, sweetheart? Lachlan been slipping you a hit of something organic when I've not been looking?"
Pat laughed again and started to cough at the effort of it. "Fuck, I wish," she said weakly in amusement. His head slumped tiredly against the pillow and he threaded his fingers with Aiden's again, holding his gaze. "Marry me."
Aiden balked yet again and blinked at Pat, trying to catch his eyes for that hint of a change when he had an episode. It wasn't there, but was his memory getting even worse? Was that possible? "What? Pat, we..." He started to reach for his wallet, knowing he had some of their wedding photos in there.
"Again," Pat elaborated softly. "Marry me again. In case I don't ever remember our first year together. We can do-over. I just want to smile again like we did on our wedding day. That one day when I didn't feel sick, or I didn't feel tired. Just happy. I need happy..." He was feeling woozy again, like sleep was trying to claim him before he could stop it, but he smirked. "Say yes. We're both blokes. You don't get the monopoly on the wedding proposals, darling."
Aiden was getting sleepy just looking at Pat's eyes droop, and he knew his husband would be out within minutes. Despite the rollercoaster of emotions he had been on these past few weeks and all the eggshells he was trying to trapse across, it was these moments that made him stop and remember why he kept finding the energy to keeping going. He kissed his own fingers and then pressed them against Pat's lips with a smirk of his own. "Hell-fucking-yes."
Word Count | 2,954
