muse_shuffle | December Greatest Hits

[mrpublicity]

Track 18. There's no aphrodisiac like loneliness // You shouldn't leave me alone
(The Whitlams – ‘No Aphrodisiac’)

Co-written with straight2point

[Follows THIS]

Lachlan and Tara had left for Princeton very early that morning and Aiden found himself alone at home with Pat for the first time since he had been discharged from hospital. Pat's bad day yesterday seemed to blend right into today with him not even wanting to get up for a shower yet and it was well after lunch time. Pat was diluting the situation with smiles and assurances to his boyfriend that he just wanted to be well-rested for Christmas. They both knew Aiden didn't buy it, but Pat staying in bed for the days leading up to Christmas wasn't going to be a bad idea. Whatever it took to make sure he had a wonderful day on Thursday.

Aiden was unsuccessfully trying to stifle a yawn when his doorbell rang. He had somewhat followed Pat's suit that day and stayed in his pyjama pants and just put on a fresh t-shirt after his morning shower. He hadn't even worked out that morning. The plan was to have some lunch and then crawl back into bed with his boyfriend to laze the rest of the day away. Tara had made a large pot of chicken soup for them the day before, so on top of having a clinically pristine and sparkling apartment (it hadn't been this clean the whole time Aiden had owned it and he was somewhat of a neat freak), he was going to be well-fed, too. He was brushing his hair down when he opened the door and broke into a smile when he saw who is visitor was. "Harri," he said and threw his arms around her.

Harri hugged Aiden back tightly. She didn't want to let go, wasn't even sure if she should let go. Her morning at Marc's had been... interesting. "Hello, love. Miss me?"


Aiden certainly made no move to release the hug. In fact, he was tightly clinging to her now, face buried in her shoulder. "More than anything," he admitted, still holding on tightly.

Harri would have let out a sigh of relief if she was sure she could even get a breath out. She was only just managing to take oxygen in. Harri rubbed Aiden's back and kissed the side of his face, still not extricating herself. "Let's never do this again. It's fucking hard without you."

"I know," Aiden admitted quietly. "And I'm sorry. It's been... really bad. But what's happened to land you on my doorstep in hard times? Did Manolo cancel your favourite line?"

Harri let out a small laugh, but even she couldn't tell if it was a genuine laugh or not. "No, not quite. I tried to surprise Marc." Harri pulled back a little, just enough to look at Aiden. "What's happened? Is Pat okay? Are you okay?"

Aiden's eyebrows shot up. "Oh? And I take it everything didn't go according to plan? Oh shit. Tell me you didn't catch him banging someone else." He drew a small breath and let it out in a huff. "No and no. Pat's not doing so well. In fact, he can't even get out of bed right now. I'm okay on a whole, just drained."

"That would have been a situation I could deal with. He was... sick. Just not your kind of sick. He was a jumpy kind of sick. I thought I'd fucked up severely. I'm not sure what the plan was, but it took a little while for it to get on track and for us to wind up in a bath." Harri kissed Aiden's cheek. "Tell me what I can do."

Aiden hooked his hand through her arm so they could go and sit down together. "Jumpy kind of sick? What the hell is that? Was he off his face or something? Was he really sick or just feeding you a line?" he asked, wondering if he needed to kick the guy up the arse. He rubbed the back of his neck and shook his head. "I don't think there is anything. Tara and Lachlan left to go home really early this morning because Lachlan's family arrived. Not after she literally cleaned the apartment from roof to floor and everything in between. She washed cleaned laundry. Helping him shower, use the bathroom, trying to get him to eat, take his medication... it's all hard. But I think we're both happy. Does that sound fucked up? Maybe not 'happy' but 'content', I guess, even if it's exhausting."

Harri pushed Aiden's hair back from his face and smiled. "Content is a very good thing to be, even if you're exhausted. I just want you happy, love. Even if I've missed you and perhaps cursed your absence a couple of times. And... you're right. The place has never been this clean. I am in awe of Tara's capabilities." Harri's blue eyes swept over everything and she just shook her head. It really was beyond clean. You could have conducted a surgery in the place. "Jumpy kind of sick as in leaving me at the door to run off and do... whatever. Then when we sat down he was back on his feet again and trying to hide a photo album or something. I have no idea. I told him he could just tell me to fuck off if it was too much bother... and I think he was really sick. He looked like shit. Actually, he kind of looked like he'd been crying." Harri's face changed, reflecting her obvious discomfort at having to even divulge that information. Not because she hated people crying, but because she wasn't sure if she should.

Aiden looked at his DVD collection now arranged in alphabetical order followed by Director's surname. "She's nesting, apparently. Really nesting. She was like a cleaning machine. I was worried I'd end up with a duster in my ear. My cans of soup are colour-coded." He looked back to Harri, tilting his head. "That sounds... weird. Do you think he's hiding something? Is he a pimp? Drug dealer?"

Harri looked disturbed by the idea of Tara arranging Aiden's soup cans by colour. "All pregnant women go through that?" Harri laughed a little. "Weird is one word for it. I don't know, maybe he really does just hate Christmas. He hates drugs as much as I do, and I doubt he's a pimp. He probably just loves to fuck, same as me. Only I don't remember ever looking like him without good reason."

Aiden laughed a little. "You're asking me about pregnant women? I just went with the notion that maybe it means she is going to be a really fantastic mother? I mean, she was everywhere all at once. Lachlan wasn't phased. It was like he had expected it or something." He made a small humming noise in though. "Well, love, I hate to be the one to say it but he sounds as questionable as all fuck. But you're intrigued by that. Do you want to know more?"

"Hey, you're gay. You have to know more than me!" she teased as she leaned against him. "Maybe you should meet him. You might be able to suss him out better then me. He says there's certain things he'll never be able to offer... But he still wants me as far as I can tell. He didn't tell me to piss off, and he didn't run and hide. He climbed in a bath with me. And of course I want to know more. I hate letting something get the better of me."

"You have a uterus," Aiden threw back with a smirk and wrapped his arms around her. "Is he being deliberately obtuse or is he hiding something? Are you sure he isn't married? None of it seems to connect. Usually people are so easy to read in some way or another but what you're telling me doesn't seem to lead anywhere. What was his apartment like? Any photos around? A maid? Why did he hide the photo album? Was he really sick or was he, say, high?"

"Yeah, but you're in love," she snickered. She cuddled up to Aiden and threw a leg over his. God she'd missed him. "He has diabetes, and he can get sick occasionally. Maybe that was all it was? Although when he answered the door, he was wearing sunglasses. Either he was embarrassed to be looking like he'd been crying, or he might have been hungover. But what's so awkward about a hangover? It's not like I'll judge." Harri let out a sigh. "I told him it was fine, that it was all fine. Am I one of those fucking women who's suddenly going to forgive everything just because some cock has me in a flutter?"

"Pat's cock doesn't work. I win," Aiden returned, smirking. "Sunglasses? Was the apartment sunny? Did he seem hungover? I'm warning you, I'm not letting up until I have answers here. I can be like a dog with a bone." That was not something that would be news to Harri. She knew how much of an irritating butt pain he could be when he really tried. "Why do you think he was crying if he even was? Could have been a bad hit, you know. The hating drugs thing could be a ruse. And to play Devil's Advocate, what were you forgiving? Did he do something wrong?"

"I haven't touched Marc's since the Christmas Party. Being in the bath with him was merely a tease." She looked at Aiden and smiled wryly. Boy did she ever know how much of a butt pain he could be. "I'd give you answers if I had them, love. I'm about as clued up as you. He briefly mentioned having a lot of people to miss at Christmas. And I think I was forgiving his random behaviour, but if he was sick I don't have much choice but to. I don't want to be the bitch nurse."

Aiden hummed again. "Or maybe you just like the bad boys? He could be a fraudster. That would be fun." He scratched at an itch on his stomach. "So, do I still get you for Christmas or do I have to break the bad news to Cameron that you've been snapped up elsewhere?"

Harri couldn't hide the naughty smile on her face. "You still get me for Christmas. I've done my part of spreading Christmas cheer to Marc. He hates the holiday season. Me? I love it, even if I forget it sometimes."

"Christmas is going to be good. I got a small taste of what it might be like having Lachlan and Tara here with Pat. It's not that I've never had the family thing. Mine pull it off okay when we're all in the same place at once, but there is a wholesomeness and warmth with that bunch that I love. I wonder if it's the British in them, what do you think?" he asked, laughing.

"I don't know, am I all full wholesomeness and warmth?" Harri asked with a grin. "I think it might be the clan thing. They're Scottish and Irish, it's probably definitely a part of their genes."

Aiden nodded and smiled. "Lachlan's fiercely clan-oriented. Pat was telling me all about it. He's directly linked to the Clan Campbell in Scotland and their wedding was this huge traditional Scottish ceremony with swords and Gaelic... the whole thing. Apparently the wedding video is quite notorious, too, with the groom flashing the videographer when he wouldn't stop following him around," he laughed. "I know I should find this huge family Christmas daunting, but I don't. I think it's going to be cathartic."

Harri couldn't help but laugh at the description of the wedding video. "It fits with what I've seen about him. Think Pat brought a copy with him when he moved in? I think the family Christmas will be good for you, love. It'll help make you feel more at home with Pat's friends and family."

"Chances are it will be pulled out at Christmas. The family will be wanting to relive the happy times, I think. I heard Lachlan is quite the deviant beyond the innocent-looking exterior." Aiden drew a breath and let it out slowly. He rubbed his temple. "It's got to go well. He's got to at least be well for it..." he murmured, it coming out more like an internal chant than anything else.

"Aiden," Harri said softly. "Please, tell me something I can do to help. Anything, even if it's sitting here and watching a movie with you."

Aiden closed his eyes briefly and chewed on his lip. "There really isn't anything and I think that's the hardest lesson I've had to learn. The things he has to deal with are not only hard but they're mortifying. Completely and utterly. He has to try and deal with the fact his body is failing him in the most embarrassing ways in front of me, a new lover. I've got the easy part, but it breaks my heart every time I see that crushed look on his face when yet another symptom appears and lets his resolve down."

She hugged him tightly and kissed Aiden's cheek. "I'm sorry, love. I really am, but I know that Pat is your One. It's just too obvious when you look at him. And I know it might not feel like it, but I also know you're doing a wonderful job. You'll love him no matter how many symptoms he goes through, and he'll understand that eventually."

"He does," Aiden said tearfully, the emotion catching him again. "He understands. I know he appreciates it. He just hates being weak when he's really someone who is so full of life and passion. The illness prevents that. I just want to give him everything, but I can't. We've gotten closer, though. Even when it's bad, we're just... close. That's something I can't ever be thankful enough for. This relationship thing, no matter how hard it is, it's where I need to be I think."

Harri shifted so that Aiden could rest his head against her shoulder and cry if he needed it. "It is, love. You can just be sure that I'll be right here with you, cheering you on. If it wasn't sure to turn you right off, I'd even wear the outfit."

"Totally," Aiden laughed and wiped at his eyes over her shoulder. "It's probably fortunate I don't have a uterus or I'd be worried I was the pregnant one right now. Lack of sleep has me frayed and I can bloody cry at the drop of a hat. See? This is why we need Christmas. Even just for the damn turkey and too much sugar."

Harri kissed his temple and rubbed his back. "Oh love... Do you want to go catch a nap now? I can watch Pat for a little while. Or even watch you both."

Aiden rubbed at his eyes. "I probably should, at risk of passing out for three days. You have to wake me for Christmas," he said with a smirk.

Harri gave him a returning smirk and kissed his forehead. "I promise to wake you up for Christmas. Now just go and get some sleep, Aiden. I can look after things for a little while. You just go and have sweet dirty dreams."

Aiden pulled himself up out of the sofa with a tired moan. He stopped and leaned down to give Harri another hug. "I love you. You know that, right?"

"Of course I do," Harri murmured as she ruffled his hair. "I love you too, soul sister."


All muses referenced with permission


Word Count | 2,608